Monday, December 29, 2008

A Child's Prayer

Say a Little Prayer for me

Well not for me but Little Man is having his MRI tomorrow. Because he doesn't understand what lay still means they have to sedate him. I act like it is no big thing, because he has been under sedation before, but I am so scared.

Scared that something will happen, or that they will find a lesion on his brain, or something worse. I am a woman of action, I like to know what the problem is so I can fix it. But what if I can't fix it? He seems to be having mini seizures where his whole body shakes, but he never does it in front of the doctor. And the only way for them to tell is with this MRI.

I am at a loss.

Freak out time

Why does it seem everything spirals out at once?

Last week was the bank issue, there is still the money issue and we are making it less and less, and now I can't find the prescription for Buddy's MRI tomorrow. I keep all his paperwork in one place. Our apartment is teeny tiny, but stuff seems to disappear all the time. I have spent all morning looking for it, I called the neuro's office and of course had to leave a message (I swear these people never actually work), I called the hospital where he is having his MRI done, and while she was able to tell me exactly what was on the script she said we had to have it with us. We have been waiting since October for this. I am going to keep looking.

The husband swears he didn't move it, but I don't think it grew feet and walked away. So I am going to have him help me look for it. It probably wouldn't hurt to get a fresh set of eyes.

Ok I hit post and the lady from the neuro's office called back and we don't need it, they faxed one over.

Monday, December 22, 2008

What is 52 pounds?

2.5 of my daughter

The average female redwolf

The amount of weight I would like to lose in 2009. That is 1 pound a week which according to "experts" is healthy. I am not imposing a week by week goal because if I didn't make it one week I would be depressed. So it is a year goal. This also allows some forgiveness for vacations, holidays etc.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Because I still miss you

My Kingdom for Boots

I have been wearing flip flops since last March. Not the same pair, I have gone through three pairs. Well it is supposed to start snowing. I can handle flip flops in the cold, but snow I think is where I draw the line.

So we went out today while we were Christmas shopping and looked at boots for me. Please keep in mind I have not bought a new pair of real (I have bought flip flops) shoes since I got married in 2005. Nothing I liked at Target, nothing at Kohl's. So I stopped at Famous Footwear. Wow their shoes are expensive. Or at least my idea on the cost of shoes has changed. Before I was married I wouldn't bat an eyelash at dropping 70-80 up to 100 bucks on shoes. Now I shudder at more than like $30.

So I find of pair of boots that I really like. My fat calves won't fit in them. I find a pair for $50 that fit, I like, but man I feel guilty on spending 50 dollars on a pair of shoes.

Amazing the difference two kids make.

Friday, December 19, 2008

A bad time to call

Do not call me between 1200 and 400. This is nap time. They are not sleeping this whole time. But I start trying to get them to sleep at noon. So usually starting at about 1230~1245 at least one of them is asleep.

I can forgive strangers because they don't know. But grandmothers you should know. And you have at least 4 other people to call to see if your new phone system works. Why are you calling the one person with little kids trying to nap?

The Weight of Things

I am at my heaviest weight EVER. I mean heavier than when I was pregnant with either child. This has to stop. My fat jeans are getting tight and these are the biggest size Lane Bryant carries.

The weight pile on began after I got my IUD put in. My hair is also falling out. My OB tested my thyroid and said everything is fine. They gave me the option of getting the IUD out, but reminded me that DS was a pill baby. Great, so get the IUD out, lose weight get pregnant. The OB pretty much told me that at my weight BCPs are less effective.

I thought that by cooking for my family it would be healthier than eating out all the time (it is cheaper, sort of). I cook healthy food, but I am having cravings like I am pregnant. I know I am not, but man it sucks. I think with my Christmas money I am going to buy some diet books.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A new home, a new start

Well I have been found by the people I thought were lost to me. They welcomed me back as if I never left. It was awesome. I finally have a place where I can be myself online. I am not sure what the point of this blog will be, though I think that for a successful blog I need to have a direction.

Maybe each post will be about a choice I made in my life. Maybe I will ponder the depth of the universe. Although I doubt that, I lack the attention span. Maybe I will use it as an outlet for my creative writing, as I lack the humor of some of my blogging icons (this is a plug for you to visit the awesomeness that is my blog role).