Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Jersey Devil, Poisoned Coffee and BBC...

Nothing I do is ever boring. You add in my BFF Peaches and you are in for a wild time.

Peaches and I drove up to CT to visit some of our other friends. Everything was going wonderfully until we hit Jersey. First we hit Dunkin' Donuts. Which usually has the best coffee and the best donuts. Well not this one. The coffee tasted strange and the muffin and donut were stale. We chalked it up to being a late night. It was like 1100 at this point.

We notice we are at about half a tank, so we stop for gas. In Jersey you can't pump your own gas. So this crazy short guy comes over and Peaches gives him her credit card. We tell him we aren't really sure what to do, as we are not from around there.

"Where you from?"


"Where you going?"

"To visit our friend in..." "Why you go?" We look at each other at this point. He can't SERIOUSLY be asking us this. "She is getting a divorce." "Why? Oh he was not good at sex right?" Wha? "ummm" "He must have little cock. She need big black cock. I have big cock, but a lady wouldn't have intercourse with me (changed from the four letter word he used). She said it too small. But it's big."

At this point we weren't really sure what to do. The dude had her credit card. Finally he gave it back to her and we were off. The directions took us on a back country road. I casually brought up the Jersey Devil. The street lights in front of us started going out. Holy Hell it is the Jersey Devil! That demon chased us all the way through Mawah (which is pronounced like a kissing noise. Peaches and I have decreed it so) to the crazy hotel guy.

Onto the crazy hotel guy... Have you ever seen someone get mad at directions? This dude did. He flipped out at how bad they were. He gave some sketchy directions and we headed on our way.

Well crap he told us to stay on 287 crap crap crap all we see is 95 North. So with some trepidation we head on 95 North. This can't be right. So we go to a gas station. We see a couple of construction guys coming in after us. Here it is 1 am two girls who have no clue where they are, a poorly lit gas station. I ask the gas station attendant how to get to M. CT to get to our friend's house.

The douche points to the map on the wall. But the construction worker jumps in and gives us great directions.

Finally after 13 hours on the road, we arrive safely at our destination.

Friday to come next!

1 comment:

  1. LMAO, I was going to write mine up, and saw yours! I am laughing my head off! I was there, and it's still funny as hell. My version won't be near as good now!