Friday, April 9, 2010

Am I Broken?

I am a stay at home mom. I was laid off in October 2007, right after I found out I was pregnant with my son. We decided that I would stay home until I had the baby and then reassess the situation.

Well Little Man was born with some issues and we priced it out and I make more money doing my part time job for my mom's company.

Prior to staying home I wanted to be a stay at home mom desperately. I thought it would be a ton of fun. Then I was one.

I hate it.

I thought at first it was because I was depressed from being laid off. Then I chalked it up to being pregnant. Next it was because I had a newborn and not quite 2 year old. Then it was because we were trying to move.

I feel so guilty hating staying home, when so many I know would love to be stay at home moms.

Is it possible that I hate it, because it was not done on my terms? Or that we really can't afford for me to stay home (we can't really afford for me to work either). Maybe because we only have one car and I can't really take the kids anywhere?

1 comment:

  1. :( I am in your shoes. Can't afford to work, can't afford not to work right now. It's a tough place to be. I wish I had the answer to make you happier.

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