Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Great Bird Adventure

Well yesterday morning started out as any other. I made the kids breakfast, and was drinking my coffee when I hear a "scritch scritch". It sounded like the noise my cat used to make when she would scratch her claws down the wall. We don't have a cat anymore.

My first thought is, "Ok my neighbors cat is scratching on the wall." Our apartment has WEIRD acoustics, you can hear the kid next door playing with a door stopper, but not hear their music. So I get up to investigate. It is not coming from that neighbor, so I go into our laundry room figuring it is the other neighbor's cat. I hear it again. This time it is very obviously in the wall behind the dryer. The wall we share with no other apartment.

My immediate reaction is OMG A RAT IS BEHIND MY DRYER. Why I jumped to rat, I can't tell you BUT with my luck that is what it would have been. So I round the kids up and stick them in their bedroom, if I am going to battle a rat, I don't want help.

Then it occurs to me I live in an apartment. I PAY for the pest removal. I call the office and the conversation goes like this.

"This is Tara, how can I help you?"
"There.is.a.rat.in.my.house."
"A rat are you sure? Did you see it?"
"Well something is making ratty noises..."
"Is it behind your dryer?"
"Wow yeah how did you know?" This woman is clearly psychic.
"It is a bird."
"What? A bird that is IN MY DRYER?!" I am not yelling at her, but the panic is evident in my voice.
"Yeah for some reason they don't put vent guards on the first floor units. It happens a lot. We'll send someone out."
"Awesome thanks."

This was about 930 yesterday morning. I deal with the tweet tweet scratch scratch, until 100, when I call to ask if someone is really coming out. They assure me that yes someone will be there.

By 600 pm I have given up hope. But they are quiet so I can deal with it. Big Man gets home, he looks behind the dryer and sees nothing.

At 830 or so they start chirping again. Then I being to wonder if they built a nest. Oh poor mama bird is going to lose her nest, and OMG what if there are eggs in there. I start to feel really bad about evicting them.

400 am TWEET TWEET CHIRP SCRATCH TWEET CHIRP SCRATCH.

Our apartment is not huge, but it is big enough, but I am a painfully light sleeper. So I am UP. All sympathy I had last night is GONE.

I go into the living room and watch Bones. I am in the 3rd Season which is one of my favorites.

TWEET TWEET CHIRP SCRATCH TWEET CHIRP SCRATCH.

OK seriously enough is enough. I go into the laundry room figuring I'll turn on the dryer for a minute and that will shut them up. Then I see movement in the silver snake looking thing behind the dryer.

AH HA! I go wake Big Man by shaking him and saying "THE BIRD IS IN THE HOUSE THE BIRD IS IN THE HOUSE" I am yelling this time. He jumps up and looks like I told him the house was on fire. He thinks he has over slept because I am wide awake and Banana is awake too.

I reassure him that he actually doesn't have to be up for another 20 minutes so he can remove the bird.

He moves the dryer and unhooks one end of the silver snake, I hold a towel over it. He unhooks the other end and the bird tumbles out. He throws the towel on it and I am yelling at him "BE CAREFUL! DON'T HURT THE LITTLE BIRD." He gives me a look as he picks it up and I go to open the door for him. He gently sets the bird down and it doesn't move. I am sad because I think we have killed it.

As I am outside saying a little prayer for my early morning companion, my daughter shuts the door. I hear THROUGH the closed door "OH FUDGE" Of course it is the 4 letter version.

I come back inside in time to see a black missile headed straight for our window. I throw open the back door and it flies away.

My heart is in my throat. I DO NOT LIKE BIRDS.

I go into the laundry room where Big Man is as white as a sheet reassembling our dryer. I ask him if he can please put the little bird out of it's misery in case it is not dead, and if he can remove the body. I don't my kids knowing the circle of life just yet. (We have lots of stray cats in this neighborhood).

When we go back outside to find the bird, it is gone. We think it was just stunned, because there were no tell tale feathers.

So here I sit 24 hours later waiting for the maintenance men to come snake our vent to make sure there are no other surprises.

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