Tomorrow is Father's Day.
Our family's first Father's Day as a difficult one. I was still mourning the loss of one child, and newly pregnant with the next.
There is a sub-board on the bulletin board I post on devoted to girls with Turner's Syndrome. I look at those pretty girls and I can't help but be sad. Why did our little girl have to have ALL the fatal complications associated with Turner's? Did she deserve the chance to live and have a happy life? I know I say "If we hadn't lost Sara I wouldn't have Mariana". Well while this coping method works for the most part, it doesn't make moments like now any easier. I want to know why my baby had to be sick, why did she have to get taken away. But I know I will never know the answer to this question.
Part of this is the guilt over inducing early. But in the long run I know it was the right choice. That doesn't mean I don't struggle with it.